It never ceases to amaze me that when a man and a woman find themselves attracted to each other, their world is beautiful and full of love. Eventually the two get married and have children and responsibilities grow. Sometimes the responsibilities can become overwhelming and communication between these two people who once upon a time were in love “stopped”.
The distance between these two people grow so far apart that eventually they use their own kids to help them communicate between each other. Does this sound familiar? “Tell your mother that she needs to come and talk to me,” or “Tell your father to come and talk to me”. If so, you could be placing your children in a dangerous situation.
Your children are not adults and do not understand your world as a parent or your responsibilities as a parent. When a child is placed in the middle, this may affect the child emotionally, physically, and may affect your relationship with your child.
When a child is placed in the middle of their parents, this could lead to emotional problems such as depression, anxiety, isolation from their peers, and even thoughts of hurting themselves. The child does not understand the problems of two adults and has no business being in the middle of their parents problems.
This may also cause physical problems such as ulcers, headaches, feeling tired due to lack of sleep, not being able to eat or maybe eating too much, which could lead to an eating disorder. The children may feel sick and their immune system may not be able to fight off infections or illnesses, which could lead to more serious health problems. This may also affect the child’s self esteem and self confidence because the child may feel helpless because he/she cannot help the parent.
Putting your child in the middle also affects your relationship with your child because when you invite your child into your problems the child automatically becomes an adult. The child may feel that he/she has the same rights as the parents and may become a parental figure among his/her siblings. The child will also become aware of the problems that you and your partner are having and may promote anger and lack of respect towards the other parent who he/she feels is causing the problem. The child may also lose respect for both of the parents and feel entitled not to respect any rules in the house or other adults.
Parents protect their children when they keep them out of the middle of the parental difficulties.
The following classes are available to help a parent stay focus on her parental role.
PARENTING SERIES: Positive Discipline Wednesday January 11, 10 – 11:30 a.m.
PARENTING SERIES: Healthy Family Communication Wednesday February 15, 10 – 11:30 a.m.
PARENTING SERIES: Ages and Stages Wednesday April 11, 10 – 11:30 a.m.
Building Healthy Self-Esteem in Your Child: Part 1 Wednesday March 28, 1 – 3 p.m.
Building Healthy Self- Esteem in Your Child: Part II Wednesday April 4, 1 – 3 p.m.
Mothers Matter Most: Wednesday April 25, 4:30 – 5:30 p.m.
Please see our catalog for more additional workshops on self care, self –esteem, and stress reduction
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